Are you infected by the Bonsai Virus perhaps?

I wanted to translate the following text I wrote some time ago so that my friends from other countries can read it, and today I found some time and finally did it!
The Greek version is here: http://www.tsamisaquarium.gr/Selides/Bonsai/prosohi.htm

Are you infected by the Bonsai Virus perhaps?

by  elsa boudouri

After meticulous Medical research, there has been verified that the Bonsai Virus, which ruthlessly attacks people of all ages, is widely spread in our country, Greece.

Check whether you have at least half of the following symptoms:

·       You are going on a visit to a friends’ house and you catch a glimpse of the Buxus that “stares” at you from the balcony’s window box. Without second thoughts, you abandon your friends’ company just to go near that Buxus and you start talking to it, simultaneously searching its surface roots to check for the nebari, and you quickly remove any dry leaves or dead branches. You suddenly come to reason, realizing that you have left your friends alone, and decide to go back. With dirty hands and jet-black fingernails, you continue your conversation, ignoring the fact that your friends are left totally speechless with mouth wide open!

·       Within minutes, you leave your friends again to go and give that poor little fella the refreshing glass of water that was served with your coffee instead of you drinking it, since the Buxus’ soil felt rather dry….

·       You realize that most of your friends call you so as to consult you about their little tree which suddenly languished and dropped its leaves. They invite you for a cup of coffee, and together with it, they place in front of you a pair of sharp scissors to go and trim the tree on their balcony….

·       You belong to the silent type of people and you loathe talking too much. However, when you hear the word “Bonsai”, you feel a strong kick in your stomach and you are transformed into an eminent orator!!!

·       You begin to look suspiciously at people who, when looking at your bonsai, ask you “…and what is that crooked piece of wood?” or “What the hell do you want with this weed!!! Get rid of it, man!!!”

·       Wherever you go and wherever you stand, you just can’t look at a tree or bush in a way other than as a future bonsai. Instantly, you make plans and, in your mind, you calculate its potential future form… so you decide which branches definitely need to go!

·       Time and again, you visit the same nurseries to see once more the same plants and make sure that you have not missed the ideal future bonsai! You dig your fingers in the soil to re-check the surface roots and you try to “find the smallest tree into the big one.” The owner of the nursery has been accustomed to your presence, so he does not pay attention to whatever you do, reassuring the other customers who watch you kneel and keep your head somewhere among the foliage that “everything is alright” and that “the man is neither dizzy nor has he suffered a stroke”….

·       …and all of a sudden, you disappear from their sight because you have already crawled to the rear of the nursery, where all the “garbage” can be found; crooked, cast away, sick or half-dead, inappropriate to be sold trees are a real treasure to you!!!

·       You begin designing your own balcony / porch / garden, having as a reference point the spot that your Bonsai stand will be placed.

·       … and of course, you design and construct your Bonsai Stand by yourselves, because the commercial ones are not worthy or sufficient for your little babies!

·       You plan your summer holidays according to whether your destination is ideal to search for trees or bushes that are absolutely essential to you!!!

·       Plants no longer have a Common Name to you (e.g Olive) and you talk about them using their Scientific Name only (…… Olea Europaea subsp. oleaster)!

·       You have scheduled pottery lessons and experiment on pot creations, because in Greece they cannot be easily found… and also because you know that “there is nothing better than something handmade!”

·       At Christmas you decorate your Bonsai instead the normal Christmas tree…

·       Outside there is a fierce storm and you stand impeccable and take care of your little trees, without losing your courage from the piercing cold and without being affected by your family that cry out loud and beg you to go back inside so as to avoid catching pneumonia!

·       Your favourite movie is Karate Kid and you always pause or set on a slow motion the scene where Mr Migiagi trims his Bonsai… but also the other one, where he climbs down a steep cliff to dig out a yamadori, takes your breath away!

·       You have more photos of your Bonsai rather than of your family…

·       In the trunk of your car, you always keep a shovel and a pick…. just in case….  

·       You wake up before sunrise without the desire for “5 more minutes” in bed and full of joy and energy you drive about 100 kilometres to start wandering in the mountains in order to find the perfect yamadori. After many hours, you return home and still have the endurance to plant everything you collected from nature, despite the exhaustion, despite the fact that you did not find the perfect yamadori and that the only things brought home with you where some seeds, cuttings and seedlings, rocks and moss! Filled with satisfaction from the “harvest”, though, you go to bed having a wide smile on your face!

·       …. and falling asleep, you dream of your Bonsai!!!

We regret to inform you that a vaccine or cure has not been found yet!!!

For any queries, please consult www.mybonsai.gr

Cheers…!